Saturday, July 4th, 2009
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STREET ADDRESS Swain County 60 Almond School Rd Bryson City, NC 28713 (828) 488-3848 Phone (828) 488-3575 Fax Map & Mailing Information 
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Strengthening Relationships Between Parents and TeensRenee CassidyExtension Agent Family & Consumer Sciences Parenting teenagers can be hard work. Teenagers today face difficult issues and they often have to make serious decisions at a very young age. The most effective parents set high standards and are demanding while balancing this approach with warmth, love and involvement. Here are some strategies to help you help your teen.  Build a Strong Relationship - Teens who feel close to their parents are more likely to come to them for advice when faced with tough decisions. They are also more likely to follow their parents’ advice, have higher self-esteem and are better able to stand up to negative peer pressure. Show Your Love - You can show your love in ways that are comfortable for both of you. Be affectionate, but if your teenager is shy about expressing affection, respect his need for some distance and find other ways to show that you care. Take an Interest in What They’re Doing - Be there for your teen by going to athletic events and science fairs. You can even email your teenager to show your interest in these activities. Email may feel like a safe way for your teen to talk through some tough issues with you. Show Support in Your Teen’s Successes And Failures - Let your teen know you love them no matter what. Being there lets them know you care and may help them decide to make a wise choice when faced with a tough decision in the future. Have Fun Together - Try to spend some quality “fun time” with your teen each week. Look for common interests with your teen and build on them. Show your teen that they can have fun and relax with you. Talk to Your Teen - Open up communication about being a teenager by telling your teen what you were like as a teenager. Discuss your views on important issues like dating, drugs and school. Talk about some of the mistakes you made growing up. Show your teenager that you’re not perfect either. Listen First, Then Ask Questions - When your teen talks to you, listen! Make sure you pay attention to what they are saying, and don’t put down their thoughts and beliefs. Show interest. Ask your teen about things that are important to them. Ask about friends, interests in music and favorite subjects in school. However, don’t quiz your teen, or you might drive them away. Instead, ask for his opinions. You can even ask him for advice. But then be silent and listen. Relationships Take Time - Spend time together, listen, and let teenagers express themselves. Building and strengthening this bond will help you help your teenager make difficult choices and ultimately become a responsible adult.
Adapted from Secrets of Parenting by Karen DeBord, PhD, NC State Extension Specialist, Child Development.
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